Please note: Venom 2: Let There Be Carnage spoilers from 0:46:00 to around 0:56:00.
Hola, Sneakers! Welcome to Episode 514 of the popular medical drama Sneaky Dragon!
This week: badly situated; incompetent vacuuming; sleep troubles; controlled dreams; waking up surprised; yesterday’s papers; forensic results; murderer’s Pinterest page; so many Dales; radom Bond titles; our Bondian cold open; deep thoughts on Venom 2: Let There Ne Carnage; cookie symbiote; saved the world clause; random Bond thoughts; more random Bond titles; random aspect ratio; laserdisc vs. DVD; TV trivia; Dave is stumped; Hollywood muppets; jazz doctors; natural immunity to cancer; music douche; Google docs; Dork Shadows – What’s in the Box?; Question of the Week – Sneakers respond; a wife writes; getting through it; emotionally messy; history of messkind; limited B.D.; even more random Bond titles; and, finally, driving with Drac.
Question of the Week: Have you ever had work done around your home by someone who was clearly incompetent?
Sub-question of the Week: Celebrate the release of No Time to Die by generating your own Bondian film title!
Thanks for listening.
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Thanks for yet another great show, folks. You continue to brighten my weekends.
I’m no James Bond fan, but I think it’s clear by now that I’ll never resist an opportunity to make a list of terrible puns.
Inspired, if that’s the word, by Tomorrow Never Dies twisting a Beatles song title, I found myself wondering what other fabs’ tunes might lend themselve to Bond movie names. You didn’t ask for them, but here they are anyway:
Octopussy’s Garden
In which Ringo takes a boat trip in Sardinia, only to discover a supervillain’s underwater lair.
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-DIE
In which a non-binary market trader helps James foil a bad guy’s plot for world domination with constant repetition of a silly, yet irresistible catchphrase.
The Man With The Golden Slumbers
In which Christopher Lee creates a song so dull it could send the entire world to sleep so he can take charge. Features Coldplay.
Strawberry Fields Are Forever
In which you can’t, you know, tune in, but it’s alright.
Coming attractions include: I Want to Hold Your Handgun, Dr Nowhere Man, and Do You Want to Know a Secret Service.
Until then, as John Lennon so very nearly said: ‘Ah, Bowakawa, Pussy Galore…’
The response from Chris Roberts you didn’t realize you needed but now you can’t live without. How can I even follow this????
There is no can; only try.
Oh dear, Ed – this leave me both shaken and stirred. Say it ain’t so! 🙂
The response from Chris Roberts you didn’t realize you needed but now you can’t live without. How can I even follow this????
I’m putting off seeing the latest James Bond movie in a cinema during a pandemic because as the title clearly states it’s No Time To Die. So my titles are meant to urge 007 and his fans to stay home and take a nap till this is all over: Wait Another Day, Tomorrow’s Soon Enough, License to Chill, Live and Let Lie, A Snooze to a Kill, and The Dying Nightlights.
Speaking of sleep, like Ian I’m prone to insomnia. Something that helps me is a $30 Bluetooth headphone headband from Amazon. The one I got is made by Perytong. It makes you look like an 80s fitness instructor but it’s more comfortable for sleeping than regular headphones and it stays in place better than ear buds. It’s also good for exercising or doing yard work as the headband doesn’t shift when you’re bending over. I usually play an 8-hour audiobook with a smooth-voiced narrator and mindless plot (there are thousands on YouTube) and that puts me to sleep pretty fast. When I wake up in the night, I just listen to more of the book instead of thinking anxious thoughts, and I fall back to sleep. There is now a sub-genre of unintended “sleep books” which people have posted to YouTube and apparently one of them is The Spire by William Golding read by Benedict Cumberbatch. I don’t know, I think I’d end up having a Dr. Strange dream but he does have a soothing voice so maybe I’ll give it a try.
Answering the first question, I’d have to say that my Dad isn’t as incompetent as he is impatient. The man can fix just about anything and does a great job with it…if it’s his own stuff. The minute I ask my Dad to help me fix something of mine he gets very rushed and impatient which leads to him breaking something or hurting himself. I’ve gotten to where I choose whether or not the job is right for him or not out of his best interests. He knows none of this, it’s just us looking out for him and our own stuff. I’m glad he doesn’t know what a podcast is.
I did have a car I bought right out of college, a Ford Probe. This car was a Ford with a Mazda powertrain under the hood and it was a disaster of a vehicle. I had this thing in and out of the shop for almost a month with the most incompetent mechanics trying to repair it. At one point they told me I needed a new Planetary Gear….a Planetary Gear?! Who are you? Scotty in engineering? That sounds like something on the USS Enterprise. On top of it all, they gave me a loaner Ford Tempo to drive that smelled like BO and beer farts. Once I knew the Ford Probe was in stable shape I sold it and bought a black Camaro so I could have at least one cool car before we started having kids. The Ford Probe was a turd on wheels and I challenge my fellow Sneakers, when was the last time you saw a Ford Probe on the road? If ever….
Once again this episode Ian was dead on about how we remember all the sensory details of our Grandparents house. I can still smell and feel what my Grandma’s house was like, it’s hardwired into me. The smell of cigarettes and coffee in the morning along with a stuffiness as if the house wasn’t allowed to breathe. It sounds awful, but I’d give anything to experience it once again. My Grandma, who didn’t have one enemy in the World sat at her kitchen table in a state of complete bliss. The small TV in the kitchen was always tuned to WGN Chicago and the TV Guide was always on the table. I’d wake up and start going through the TV guide, it wasn’t long before Grandma would ask, “What time does Arnold come on?” This was what she called “Different Strokes”, one of her favorite shows. “Same time it did yesterday Grandma, 9:30.” She smiled not realizing Arnold would be on anyway because the TV was always tuned to WGN. The house wasn’t a palace but I was treated like a prince when I was there.
About laserdiscs! I had a player where you had to flip the discs but more so if they were in CAV format. CAV were the discs that were encoded with more detail and you could pause the screen for a clear still picture. CLV discs were the lesser encoded kind that the screen went blue when paused, those didn’t require flipping as often as the CAV discs. When I paid a whopping $250.00 for the first Star Wars Trilogy in the deluxe CAV format I was flippin’ those discs since it took nine of them front and back to watch the first three movies…but I could pause it for the first time ever and see everything!
Thanks you Ian for recommending the MARVELS podcast, I subscribed but my Sneaky Dragon always comes first!
So good Chris…harder than it looks.
My poor attempts:
And Your Spy Can Die, Can’t Buy Me (A Licence To Kill), Do You Want To Know A (State) Secret, For No One(s Eyes),
Years ago as an undergrad I performed in a 007-themed comedy revue titled ‘You Only Laugh Twice.’ Don’t think I can top that but here are some Ian Flemingish titles:
Quartz Claw
Professor Niet
Cubic Zirconia is forever
Die and let lie
The Scorpion of Antwerp
Cyanide Kiss
The honeypot dossier
The man with the diamond finger
And so on.
My husband hired a so-called professional painter to paint the metal roof on a rental house last year. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to taking pride in a job well done or taking the time to do a job correctly? The guy didn’t bother to sweep off leaves or sticks from the roof before painting. He also used a tree to clean his brushes and left a huge silver puddle of paint in the yard.
Will Bond ever retire? Perhaps one day he’ll transfer from Her Majesty’s Secret Service to Her Majesty’s Public Service. Submitted for your amusement is the James Bond Title: “The Man With the Golden Card.” Hope you can catch it when it hits drive-ins and backyard theaters next summer. Bond trades in his License to Kill for a Library Card and finds himself entwined a variety of scandals and controversies including a shootout in periodicals when Penny Pincher attempts to steal the coupon insert from the newspaper. See Bond in a high speed chase scene as he runs down a 70-year old granny who forgot she had books in her hands when she walked out the front door. Bond gets reprimanded for excessive force when he detonates the house of a man who checked out never returns Exorsisters Volume 1 despite repeated overdue notices. It would probably have a Rotten Tomatoes score of 027 (which is also the Dewey for general libraries).
Please tell Regis that they announced on the news this morning that John Deere workers have gone on strike. And he was right, Clarkson’s Farm was an enjoyable series on Prime.
Have a great week, everyone!
I remember when Daniel Craig was promoting “Casino Royale”, they partnered with Heineken beer for some great TV spots. The 007 purists went berserk! How dare James Bond drink beer! He’s a martini drinker! Now you have him hanging around a library… It’s a good setup though, the back room would be a great front for Q and his M16 workshop, creating gadgets and traps within the library. Remember, knowledge is Power!!
In what reminds me of an exercise from my copy writing class in college, I had to give the 007 titles some thought. There are three obvious “camps” to the titles: The ones named after the villain, “Dr. No”, “Goldfinger” and “SPECTRE”, the ones that are action cued titles of a specific object or place like “Thunderball, “Moonraker” and “Skyfall”, and lastly the famously used Life and Death Call to Action ones like “Live and Let Die”, “Die Another Day” or “You Only Live Twice.”
I skipped the villain themed ones and went to the action cued:
SnowBlind
DiamondHead (could be a villain)
SpyKiller
Silencer
Then a stab at the Life & Death:
A Life Worth Killing For
A Death Worth Living For
A Life Worth Dying For
The Death of a Lifetime
Then I started thinking how well some comic titles would have worked:
Kingdom Come
House of M
But we’d like to keep MGM and EON out of any legal battles, right?
Fun stuff, I’m sure I’ll think of half a dozen more once I click SUBMIT. If this were Full Marx I’d request the naming of some other Marx Brothers films but feel free to plug the show now in place of that….
I’ll leave you with one more question and because I’m bored as hell today at work:
When G.I. Joe used to say “Knowing is half the battle!” What was the other half?
Stay Sneaky gentlemen…