Hola, Sneakers! Welcome to Episode 538 of the podcast that just doesn’t care what you think!
This week: friendly goats; animal sex; kingly duties; over-jokered; gifted child drama; bad tests; don’t ask me; sensitive moms; gifted fist; sausage school; educational narrowcast; enforced dance; long stretch; bitter consolation; plateaued; don’t give in, give out; whack-école; survival radar; high school yikes; sadness training; traumatic generations; no comparison; fun meet ups; gifted vs. narcissist; definitions; Dave is not a Musk bro; is Paul McCartney a narcissist; ambition is okay; a disappointment sandwich; low bar; sweet dreams; stupid inner voice; bad example; not a kid job; brain blocks; mentor as anything; the modern Dark Shadows; Dork Shadows – The Not Nice Man Cometh: pro-blood slaves; Hem-Haw; a dog’s tale; how to get ahead in advertising; fruit layer; sex in a pan; that burning feeling; sad children; the book of grievances; clip clop; crystal clear; movie food test kitchen; dark origins; chicken Disckens; a dollop of Trollope; and, finally, ball dropping.
Question of the Week: What was something you were obsessed with when you were young?
Sub-question of the Week: What literary character is your hero or heroine?
Thanks for listening.
Peter Ayres sent along this excellent dance choreographed to Dave Brubeck’s tricky “Unsquare Dance” in 7/4 time. Enjoy!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
I already talked to you about this in person but let me put it down in writing: Bob once complained to me, “No one in Canada ever asks me what I do for a living. And no one talks about what THEY do. Why is that?” He’s used to being asked “what do you do” as a conversation starter, and has struggled with socializing here due to the lack of prompts, because he doesn’t want to blurt out of nowhere “I’m a podcaster!”
I myself don’t see it as a rude question at all. I’m not asking to compare or find out people’s salaries. Most people’s lives are occupied by their jobs, so I’m genuinely curious what they do, even if it’s not something creative. Even jobs that can be considered mundane are interesting to me, because I get to learn about what people do behind the scenes to keep the world running, even in the smallest of ways. Everyone is important! SOMEONE has to do data entry on irrigation pipes!
Also I wanted to say, the notion that abuse needs to come with active malicious intent or physical assault is…not great, and it’s how many people (especially parents, but also employers) end up getting away with being abusive.
Elizabeth Bennet is my favorite fictional heroine even before I read that she and I have the same Myers Briggs. Pride and Prejudice is one of, if not the, book I have read multiple times over (or at least it ties with Frankenstein in re-reads). I admire Elizabeth because she is playful and good natured while being confident and absolutely loyal. She places value on people based on character (even when her perception and pride cause her assessment to be incorrect). She also realizes when she has done wrong and tries to correct her mistakes.
I have to agree with Dave, being obsessed with things, such as music, does not make you a narcissist. Obsession, to the point, that you know every minuscule fact about something and you only care to talk about that topic falls more in line with a tendency of high functioning autism than it does narcissism. That said, having a tendency doesn’t mean you have a condition.
Most of the Sneaky Party falls in the gifted range of intelligence and occasionally indicate fixation on some topics, but obsessive interests are also a phase of normal human development and growth. In fact, it would be more abnormal for someone to have never obsessed (or obtained significant knowledge) about a topic. If I remember correctly from an abnormal psychology college course, only 6% of the population have never fixated on any topic.
As far as this week’s question about a prior obsession, I was that stereotypical teenage girl with posters of my favorite bands plastered all over my bedroom walls, except instead of having posters of bands like Whitesnake or New Kids on the Block; my bedroom walls were decorated in Beatles and Monkees obsession. My allowance went towards purchasing albums, books, movies, posters, collectables… just anything I could find at record stores and thrift shops. Like other teenage nerd fangirls, I absorbed and parroted back minuscule trivia to the point that I was probably annoying.
In this week’s episode: As the definition of a narcissist was read, both Dave and Ian worried about being a possible narcissist. Please let me reassure you that neither of you are narcissists. Here is the litmus test: If you question and worry that you might be a narcissist, then you are not. A narcissist doesn’t see anything wrong with his or herself. If you have ever taken another person’s feelings into consideration or worried that you might have hurt their feelings, then you are not a narcissist. A narcissist can do no wrong and only the narcissist’s feelings are the only valid feelings. Dave and Ian, you both exhibit compassion and empathy. You are not narcissists. We all have egos, some people have a larger egos than others, but even on the ego spectrum there is a clinical difference between a super ego and a narcissist.
Can we just call this post: I agree with Dave. Dave is completely right, because I agree with Dave. Paul McCartney is not a narcissist. He sees himself as a common person and has often been caught by the press riding (and falling asleep) on public transit trains. A narcissist wants only the very best, and public transit would be beneath a narcissist who can afford to be chauffeured around. Paul expresses empathy in his songs— from writing Hey Jude in an effort to comfort Julian Lennon during his parents’ divorce to showing care for others in his Who Cares? song. Paul is also a vegetarian because of his concern for the feelings of animals. I see a lot of positivity, empathy, and joy in his songs… and art is an expression of the creator.
Can we just call this post: I don’t agree with Dave. Dave isn’t a failure. Remember John Lennon said: life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans. Ian is absolutely right. Dave has done a wonderful job with his daughters. Each week, he comes across as warm, authentic, and supportive of those around him and willing to help those he cares about. After all, how many husbands would be so supportive to help a wife create the number one, bi-weekly, Canadian horse mystery podcast? He also tries to see situations from both sides of the story, which means he brings a wealth of perspective into his commentary. With the exception of narcissists, we all carry guilt and insecurities through life, but Dave is persevering AND making a positive impact on the world around him. Sometimes the smaller acts have the larger impact in making the world a better place even though it is normal to want to see the big, flashier results of serving a greater purpose. And finally, whenever Dave lingers on his feelings, perhaps he should ask himself what is success and what will it look like when success is reached? And don’t forget to take time to care for yourself while you are busy spinning lots of plates that allow you to take care of others.
I hope the upcoming week is better for you than the last week. Seriously, guys, it is going to be alright.
When I was young, Trixie Belden was my literary hero. She lived a life similar enough to mine that I could strongly identify, but she also possessed qualities I felt I lacked, so she was always a person I admired.
When I was young, I was obsessed with reading. I was never without a stack of books from the library. When I was older, I started to chain-read books. When I finished one, I’d start another even if it was well past midnight. These days, I juggle several books at once. Right now I’m partway through an anthology of sci-fi novellas, an urban fantasy novel, a book of poetry, a book about the Finnish approach to wellness, and an unabridged translation of The Count of Monte Cristo. Speaking of juggling, I learned how to do it so I’m sure Dave can too, given the manual dexterity he has honed through many hours of smash ball and colouring between the lines.
Speaking of which, as a colourist, I’m sure Dave knows that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the artistic fence, especially if by green you mean money! If you are a freelancer, you never know where your next job is coming from. If you are a paid employee in an artistic field, your work is going to be judged by someone else’s subjective opinion and if you don’t deliver, you’re let go. Working a steady job and doing creative projects on the side may not be as fulfilling personally, but it’s a good way to keep your bank account filled so you can support yourself and a family.
I’m not sure if you mentioned “All You Need Is Love” when you were talking about songs that don’t have a regular time signature. When I was learning it for a fundraiser concert, I was always coming in a bit late during the verse. I had to take another look at the sheet music to figure out why. This term our choir is doing a song called “One Voice” by the Wailin’ Jennys which switches between 4/4 and 3/4 time. The melody is syncopated as well so that makes it even trickier. Songs with irregular timing are fun for the listener. They defeat your expectation of a steady beat, so they keep your ears on their toes.
Hello, gentlemen. Just a quick note: I have lots to say about this week’s questions, but I’m getting ready to leave town in the morning for a conference, where I’m going to deliver a paper to a bunch of other literature nerds. (My first in-person conference since before the plague!) So I’ll have to catch up with all you Sneakers next week.
Be well, all you lovely people.
John
I’m in the same boat as John above…well, not really, I’m not in a boat and I’m not leaving town or delivering papers to nerds. This week did get away from me though and I’ve been busy designing some Redbubble stuff for Apple TV’s show “Severance”. It has quite an audience and it’s very mind-bindingly awesome! I’ll try to get something in tomorrow from work when my overlords are looking elsewhere.
If I don’t, have a great week! All Good Things!
Hello gentlemen,
Thanks for another great show. When episode 537 was late, I was worried that Dave had been crushed under a collapsed bathroom or that Ian had been stripped to the bone by a swarm of aggressive squirrels.
Thanks to everyone who has enquired where I am.
I am here, always listening; sometimes commenting if the week doesn’t get away from me. Which it frequently does.
I had so many obsessions as a kid of the 70s and 80s. Anything that could be collected via a cereal box usually had me hooked.
At the age of 6 I was obsessed with collecting Smurfs which at the time were only sold in Australia at ‘BP’ (‘British Petroleum) petrol stations. My parents must have hated driving us anywhere as I would be on eagle-eyed lookout for a ‘BP’ petrol (or ‘gas’) station. If I saw one ahead, I would scream, ‘DAD!!! MUM!!! BP!!! BP!!’ in the hope that they would stop and buy me a Smurf. They cost 85cents and I managed to collect about 50, which were happily passed on to my kids decades later.
My Smurf obsession segued into so many other obsessions over the years, including Star Wars, Tintin and The Beatles … which lead me here in the end. Is checking my phone every half hour on a Sunday a sign that I am obsessed with listening to this podcast?
As far as literary characters, I related to many of the cast of Peanuts. I think I got my moral standards from Tintin, though if someone offers me money, I rarely headbutt them in the stomach.
That is all.
Getting a bit more specific than saying I was obsessed with Star Wars or comics when I was young, my mind had the urge to see what my favorite comic characters would look like if they existed in my world and not on the printed page. A few illustrators back in the day would take a stab at making Nightcrawler or the Thing look completely realistic and I wanted to do the same. There was a cover to issue #27 of “Bizarre Adventures” that came out back in the early 80’s, I bet Ian remembers this, the cover was a painted depiction of Phoenix, Iceman and Nightcrawler by Paul Gulacy. You could actually see through Iceman it was so realistic! Inside the magazine were just reprinted X-Men comics in black & white…but that full color cover! To me, that was what they would really look like. Then a few years later came Alex Ross who paints the characters as if they were standing right before us. I took a stab at it and illustrated a few successful characters…some not so successful. I designed them as movie posters too so you can imagine how thrilled I was and still am, that these heroes are now featured just as I imagined them 40 years ago.
I’ve always been a fan of 007, both in print as well as onscreen. If I could be any hero in literature or in film, it would be James Bond. This would mean that I’d immortal and never die….oh, wait. Never mind.
In answer to your question about Advertising agencies in movies and how accurate they’re portrayed, the one I mentioned last week, “Nothing in Common” was pretty dead on. I read that the filmmakers studied the Leo Burnett Agency in Chicago before filming and based it on the way the agency was run in the 80’s. There’s even a little hint that Leo Burnett was referenced in the film. The real Leo Burnett has always had a large bowl of apples in their lobby, free to all visitors, a tradition going back to when the agency opened its doors during the Depression in 1935. In “Nothing in Common” they reference this tradition except it’s a huge bowl of grapes.
Each agency has its heyday and place in entertainment. “Mad Men” showed the glamorous and sexist way it was in the 60’s, “30 Something” showed how stressful it could be as a career in your 30’s and “Crazy People” showed how you could hire patients from an asylum to write ads based on truth. Remember that one with Dudley Moore? Too bad that’s not true.
But the film that resonates the most with me is “What Women Want” because it was so fucking real and stressed me the hell out. Mel Gibson, working as a Creative Director gets undercut and his promotion is given to a woman played by Helen Hunt. She enters by realizing that the agency is lacking representation in women’s products so she calls a meeting on her first day. She gives a box to each of the Directors and inside are a variety on women’s products that need agency representation. The men seem perplexed and Hunt then tells the room that they have until the next morning to write a campaign for each product! This was so close to the truth it made me a nervous wreck….because it’s true. That one scene makes “What Women Want” the most accurate movie about Advertising I know.
Obviously Gibson succeeds and impresses Hunt because he can read women’s minds and writes the campaigns with ease since he knows exactly WHAT WOMEN WANT.
As far as “Bewitched” goes, it was just a really high-strung Larry Tate who would burst into the Stevens’ home bugging Darin about when he’d get the new slogans, which I guess was the way it was back in the 60’s.
Another personal favorite was Richard Jennings in “The Shape of Water” who lived across the hall from Eliza. Jennings was an old school Advertising illustrator and I was very interested in watching what he was painting in his apartment, a role he received an Oscar nomination for.