Hola, Sneakers! Welcome to Episode 414 of the most post-Halloween haunted podcast on the internet!
Thia week: off-mike chewing; gross bodies; beautiful sex; gross babies; you don’t need to know; unfair maternity; gestational fun; craw danger; ineffective horrifying images; terrifying teens; who’s who; how to ghost; bunkum artists; occult museum; a one-haunted doll show; demonic banquet; Joe Pesci vs. a doll; studied ignorance; a one movie marathon; Netflix peril; Dexter Reilly trilogy; TV shows that were simultaneously movies; weak Halloween showing; Question of the Week – Sneakers respond; Ian’s dream chocolate bars; where’s the dance party?; borrowed transoms; creepy, unsettling, disturbing David Lynch; Dave “loves” spoilers; and, finally, no joke.
Question of the Week: What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?
Sub-question: Has there been a movie with a scene that, for you, overwhelmed the movie?
And remember, our contest continues: Do the impossible – describe Sneaky Dragon in thirty words or less as though you’re describing the show to your friend or mortal enemy and win a Sneaky Dragon grab bag!
Thanks for listening.
Ian demanded it, and here it is: follow this link to the quaintly humorous Warren’s Occult Museum.
A video tour with Annabelle the killer doll:
Dave won’t watch it!
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:dusts off horror movie fan hat:
Of the thousands (literally) of horror films I’ve seen, very few have actually managed to scare me. Off the top of my head, the ones that did are:
*Carpenter’s THE THING- the paranoia and rising terror and isolation are ten times as scary as the revealed tentacular monsters.
* INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1978)- the final shot gave me nightmares for days. Plus Leonard Nimoy, Veronica Cartwright, Jeff Goldblum and Donald Sutherland in the same movie?!
* NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984). Freddy was *terrifying* in his first cinematic jaunt.
*SCARECROWS (1989)- a rare film that is both super gory AND scary. Hijacked plane of robbers comes across a field of Satanic scarecrows perfectly capable of ripping out the brains they want.
*RETRIBUTION (1987)- Dennis Lipscomb as a suicidal artist possessed by a murdered mob thug. Again, super gory, but Lipscomb makes it really creepy. The final shot uses a simple but very effective monster eyes reveal that may be the scariest thing about contact lenses save their price.
*I, MADMAN (aka HARDCOVER)- the tale of a bibliophile stalked by the psychotic killer that crosses into reality from the book she is reading. William Randall Cook is terrifying as the disfigured, semi-fictional madman (Cook, a visual FX artist also did the matte paintings for Carpenter’s THE THING) who, rebuffed for being ugly, cuts off his own face and goes around getting better parts from prettier people. Hey, it worked for Zac Efron!
SCARED TO DEATH (1981)- the charming tale of a killer genetically engineered monster that lives in the sewers and kills people for their spinal fluid, which it likes better than Caprisun. The creature’s heat exchange system makes it constantly emit a high-pitched whistle, which is very eerie. And it features a terrifying encounter between a roller skater in an underground parking garage and the creature which put me off roller skates for several months in the late Eighties when I saw it.
As much of a fan I am of the 1939 “Wizard of Oz”, I was terrified of the talking apple trees as a small child. A branch from one of the trees in our yard snagged my jacket when I was about five, I removed myself from the jacket in about half a second and ran inside thinking it was one of those goddamn talking apple trees.
As disturbing as it was, it was fun to watch late night horror TV as a kid. The one that sticks out most in my mind is 1975’s “Race with the Devil” with Peter Fonda, Loretta Swit, Warren Oates and Lara Parker. The two couples, on a road trip in their RV, are chased by Satan worshipers wherever they go but it was the ending that put a fork in this one. The two couples think they’re free and clear of the Satanic hordes chasing them throughout the film and find an abandoned clearing in a forest. The film ends with all the Satan worshipers walking out from the forest circling their RV, then a huge circle of fire surrounds the RV. The End. It also didn’t help that this film takes place all over Texas, not far from me.
Sheer horror at the theater as a teenager. 1986’s “The Hitcher” scared me so bad at the theater, I was terrified to get in my car after the film for fear Rutger Hauer would be in the back seat. He passed away about two months ago, so I guess it’s okay to get in my car now.
Stressful, white-knuckled PANIC: Ben Affleck’s “Argo” puts me on the edge of my seat every time I watch it. Even though was this based on a true occurrence that ended well, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if they didn’t make it off that runway at the end. I get sweaty palms just thinking about it.
Loved your take on the Warren’s Occult website, poking fun at those shills is like shooting fish in a barrel. For the Warren banquet, how about Hungarian GHOUL-ash!!!
Ian, I’m going to take your recommendation on Red Dwarf time travel episode! One of my closest friends was a fan of the show along with Blake’s 7, I’ll look it up, watch it and report back.
My Pennywise illustration actually turned out very well in retrospect. I think I did quite a job with it and my friend was very happy with it. Somewhere I think I have a photo if it, this was before color copiers were available and all I have is a photo…I’ll have to dig it up and post it.
Peanut Duck is still in the making, I want him to look perfect for David and Mary. I had to empathize with David when he noted how busy he’s been, the same can be said for me lately. I will complete Peanut Duck before long, you won’t be disappointed!
And you can call me Ed, Eddie or Edward…but in any order. Never been referred to as Teddy though!!!
Haha, Ed. If anyone brings up scary movies, my Dad’s first (and last) go-to is Wizard of Oz. He will literally shiver every time.
I think it’s an age thing – I believe my dad saw it when it first came out – he would have been 6.
We took my little cousin to Pee Wee’s Big Adventure when it first came out. He was 6ish as well. This is a film I had already seen, and found/still find hilarious from start to finish. At the Large Marge scene, when she changes into the skeleton, my cousin was so startled that he threw all his M & Ms up into the air, where they shortly thereafter rained down on all the patrons. That was sadly a waste of some good M & Ms.
Movies that have you stuck in a place with no way to escape, and you share that place with an evil, deadly thing is always a perfect recipe for a great scary movie. “House on Haunted Hill” (1959), the remake of “The Thing” (1982), and “Alien” (1979) are all good examples of that. I’d have to say though that my all-time best scary movie is “The Haunting”, (1963) followed closely by “Les Diaboliques” (1955). Both of those movies manage to be very scary without showing any ghosts, monsters or gore.